Rupert’s story

Before the death of their baby boy, Kate and Sam had never used our services. When Rupert died unexpectedly, he was brought to our special bereavement suite where his family could say goodbye in calm and beautiful surroundings.

“I was so scared of him being alone in the dark”

Rupert was born with a hole in his heart, and after months of complications, he suffered a devastating stroke. We were told that our delightfully happy child wouldn’t be able to walk, talk, swallow, or even let us know he was in pain. Together, my husband Sam and I made the heartbreaking decision to turn off Rupert’s life support. Because we’d chosen to help more babies by donating Rupert’s organs, we had to say goodbye in the hospital. Under the bright fluorescent lights of the operating theatre, he just didn’t look like the beautiful baby I once held in my arms. And the hardest thing was having to leave him in the mortuary – I was so scared of him being alone in the dark.

“After the trauma of hospital, Chestnut felt like heaven”

If it wasn’t for Chestnut Tree House, turning off Rupert’s life support could have been our last memory of being with him. But that evening, I got a call from the team at the hospice. They told me they could bring Rupert to their special bereavement suite which is not just for children they have cared for. And they promised me that they would never turn the lights off in his room. I cannot tell you how comforting it was to hear that. The next day, I went to see Rupert at Chestnut. He looked like a little angel. His skin was white and his lips were cherry red as he lay in a cosy bed. The suite looked like the most perfect children’s room – filled with the calming sounds of nursery rhymes and the soft glow of fairy lights. It was exactly the kind of room you would pick for your own baby.

“Losing a child can feel so lonely”

When your child dies, hardly anyone knows what you’re going through. That’s why it means so much to have a warm, supportive community that does. And in the months that followed Rupert’s death, Chestnut was a rock for me and my husband. Sam received some incredible emotional support from Chestnut’s chaplain and joined the monthly support group for dads like him, which he’s found so helpful.

Both Sam and I know that Chestnut will continue to play a massive part in our lives, and we’ll be back for every memorial event, along with Rupert’s brothers – four-year-old Gilbert and our new baby, Percy. I’m thankful that when they’re older, we can bring them to Chestnut. We can say, “This beautiful place is where we said goodbye to your baby brother.”